Daddy, how was I born?

Daddy, how was I born?

'Well, son, Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other.



There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button , nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: 'You got Male!'

From: SID

Friends invitation for dinner

Husband: I invited a friend for dinner.
Wife: what? Are you crazy?The house is a mess and I can't cook meal. 

Husband: I know that all
Wife: Then why did you invite him?


Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

Change of generation

Many years ago:


Kids used to read books, 
now they are busy reading facebook,

they used to practice maths additions,substractions, 
now they only add using google+,

used to play by collecting match boxes,

now they are collecting Xboxes,


used to watch cartoon network,
now they are bored watching ftv,

goto school every day,
but now only goto school when there is no strike,

ask for pocket money,
now they queue on at ATM centers..

An interview a girl takes with a a boy

♥♥♥♥♥
Boy: Marry me.. ?
Girl: Do you have a house.. ?
Boy: No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car?
Boy: No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ?
Boy: No salary.. but,..
Girl: No but. You have nothing.. How can i marry you.?? Leave please.!!
Boy: (talk to himself) I hav one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche.. Why I still need to buy BMW.?! How can I get the salary
when actually I'm the BOSS...
♥♥♥♥♥

The most Elastic Element of the World..

The most Elastic Element of the World...
"TIME"
It maximizes
When u r Waiting
&
Minimizes When u r Enjoying...!! :D

What happens when donkey wins a race

A servant enrolled his donkey in a race & won.
Local paper read: 'SERVANT's ASS WON'.
The king was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the servant to get rid of the donkey. ...He gave the donkey to the queen.
The local paper then read: 

 "QUEEN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN".
The king fainted. Queen sold the donkey to a farmer for... $10.
Next day paper read: "QUEEN SELLS HER ASS FOR $10".
This was too much, KING ordered the queen to buy back the donkey & leave it in the jungle.
The next day Headlines: "QUEEN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD & FREE"
The king died next day

Remix of Ba Ba Black Sheep

Ba Ba bastard
Have u any kids?
Yes Sir Yes Sir
3 little kids,
1 from my neighbor,

1 from my maid,


&



1 from d prostitutor who never got paid

Same word sounds different when you are young

When I was a KID


Pussy meant CAT,


Sex meant GENDER,


Bitch was a FEMALE DOG,


Dick was a NAME,



Cock meant BIG CHICKEN,


Bang was just a SOUND,


Ass was a DONKEY,


Screw was just a NUT,


Tits was a snack,


Head meant a part of BODY !!
But now everything is just Damn Complicated, scared to say infront of some people :)

Why did Sardar G married a short girl

Sardar selected a short girl to marry.

Why?

Because guru ji told him

Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai ...:-P

Sardar in airplane going to Bombay.

Sardar in airplane going to Bombay.

While it is landing he is excited and shouts: Bombay.. Bombay

Airhostess: Be silent.

Sardar: Ok. Ombay… Ombay!

Survey about food

Last month, a survey was conducted by the UN world-wide. The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a HUGE failure.

In Africa they did not know what "food" meant.

In Western Europe they did not know what "shortage" meant.

In Eastern Europe they did not know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they did not know what "solution" meant.

In South America they did not know what "please" meant.

In Asia they did not know what "honest" meant.

And in the USA they did not know what "the rest of the world" meant!!!!!!!!!!!

About some men...

There are 3 kinds of men in the world

1. Some remain single & make wonders happen,


2. Some have girlfriends & see wonders happen,


3. The rest get married & wonder what happened !!!!!!?